The Power to Choose: How to Stop Living Like You're Still Stuck

There's a moment that quietly changes everything, not when someone gives you permission, not when everything is finally aligned, but when you decide:

"I'm not living like this anymore."

That's the power to choose. Most people don't realize the extent of their power because they've been living as if they don't have any. Not because they're weak, but because trauma, conditioning, and repeated pain can trick us into believing our life is something that happens to us.

But it doesn't have to stay that way.

Power to Choose

Why We Forget Our Power

If you've spent years walking on eggshells, playing peacemaker, silencing your voice, or second-guessing yourself, you're not broken. You've been surviving.

Maybe no one ever showed you what healthy boundaries looked like. Maybe you learned early on that speaking up got you punished. Or maybe your choices were ignored so often, you stopped making them at all.

When pain is repeated, it trains the nervous system to default to avoidance, people-pleasing, or helplessness, even when the danger is long gone. But here's the truth:

Avoidance isn't peace.

Compliance isn't love.

And survival isn't living.

What It Means to Choose

Choice is not about control. It's not about perfection, or always knowing the right thing to do.

Choice is about participation.

It's about realizing you are not powerless. You have agency. You get to say what you allow, what you pursue, and what no longer belongs in your life.

And that choice?

It starts inside, before you ever speak it or act on it.

Recognizing Where You've Already Chosen

Sometimes we don't give ourselves credit for how often we've already used our power:

• You chose to walk away from the friend who always drained you

• You chose to pause before sending that angry text

• You chose to ask for help even when it felt uncomfortable

• You chose to rest instead of proving your worth again.

These are not small things. They're signs of healing. Signs that your power to choose is already growing stronger.

The Fly Fearless Framework: Claiming Your Choice

At Fly Fearless Unlimited, we teach women and service members how to recognize and reclaim their power through a 4-step framework:

1. Pause: Slow down the automatic response. Breathe. Reflect.

2. Spot the Story: What belief is guiding your reaction? Is it old? Is it true?

3. Choose Again: Ask: "Who do I want to be right now?" Then align your action with that version of you.

4. Practice Until It's Natural: Healing is a matter of repetition. The more you practice healthy choice-making, the more your brain learns it's safe to live in your power.

A Real-Life Moment of Choice

A client once came to me exhausted. She was drained by her job, feeling resentful at home, and blaming herself for "always attracting the wrong people."

Through our work together, she discovered that she had made a quiet agreement years ago that she needed to stay small to stay safe.

When she finally challenged that story, I asked: "What would it look like if you chose yourself for once?" That week, she said no to one thing and yes to another, which gave her peace. It wasn't easy. But it was a start. And that one choice? It changed everything.

Try This: 3 Power Reclaiming Prompts

Grab a journal and write freely using these three questions;

1. Where in my life do I feel stuck right now?

2. What belief keeps me from changing it?

3. What small choice can I make today that honors my growth?

It might be something as simple as:

• Turning off your phone for 30 minutes

• Saying no without explaining yourself

• Taking 5 minutes to breathe before reacting

You don't have to change everything today. You just have to take one step toward the woman you were born to be.

Final Thoughts

You're not stuck, you're just standing in a story that taught you to play small. But you don't have to live there anymore.

You get to choose how you show up.

You get to choose what you tolerate.

You get to choose your peace.

You don't have to wait for permission.

You don't have to earn it.

You just have to decide:

This is where I rise.

Reach out to Fly Fearless and let's take that first step - together. Visit the website or email info@flyfearlessunlimited.com for more information. For inspiration and updates, follow us on social media, including Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.