You're Not Broken — You're Buried: The Hidden Patterns Blocking Your Healing

There's a quiet belief that keeps too many women stuck.

It doesn't shout. It doesn't announce itself. But it hides in the way you speak to yourself, in the relationships you tolerate, and in the shame you carry that was never yours to begin with.

It sounds like this:

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Maybe I'm the problem."

"I guess I just attract this kind of situation."

Let me be clear — and I say this as someone who's lived it, felt it, and walked with others through it:

You are not broken.

You are buried.

You're not broken

What Does It Mean to Be Buried?

Being buried doesn't mean you're gone. It doesn't mean you're lost. It means your truest self—the one that's whole, brave, and worthy—is still there. She's just hidden under layers that never belonged to her.

Those layers might look like:

• Growing up with conditional love

• Staying in relationships that drained your soul

• Carrying unspoken trauma, especially in silence

• Believing your worth was tied to your performance or appearance.

These layers aren't your fault. But they can become your responsibility—not because you caused them, but because you're the one who can remove them.

The Patterns We Mistake for Personality

One of the most common things I hear from clients is:

"I think this is just who I am."

No, love. It's not. It's a pattern. A reaction. A survival strategy you developed to feel safe.

You learned to shut down because opening up got you hurt. You learned to overgive because love felt conditional. You learned to stay quiet because speaking up made you feel unsafe.

Those aren't your personality traits—they're protection mechanisms. And they did their job. They kept you afloat. But now? They're keeping you buried.

How the Buried Self Shows Up

Buried doesn't always look like brokenness. Sometimes it looks like:

• Overachieving to prove your worth

• Smiling while you're silently crumbling

• Staying "busy" to avoid being still

• Choosing partners or friends who reinforce your old story

And sometimes, it looks like strength. But inside? You feel disconnected. Drained. Unseen.

Here's the truth: You don't need to do more, try harder, or push through. You need to unearth the truth underneath the performance.

The Fly Fearless Method: From Buried to Bold

At Fly Fearless Unlimited, our approach is simple, but powerful. We combine faith, brain-based tools, and story work to help you see what's been driving your cycles and give you tools to rewrite them.

Here's how it works:

1. Recognition: Spot the pattern without judgment

2. Surrender: Accept the past without resentment or bitterness

3. Renewal: Begin moving forward

4. Embodiment: Start becoming the whole, worthy, visible version of you

5. Integration: Don't stop! Continue moving forward with the new habits you've created

Because healing isn't about changing who you are. It's about returning to who you've always been.

A Story From My Journey

There was a time in my life, during my military service and after, when I wore strength like a uniform. On the outside, I was composed, successful, and "fine." But inside? I was buried.

Buried under guilt from past trauma.

Buried under patterns of silence and shame.

Buried under the lie that if I just stayed strong enough, it would all go away.

But it didn't. Not until I stopped trying to perform for healing and instead began to receive it. And that started with one powerful question:

"What if I'm not broken at all, just buried under things that were never mine to carry?"

That question changed everything.

A Practice for You

Grab a journal and ask yourself these three questions:

1. What do I believe is "wrong" with me?

2. Where did I learn to believe that?

3. What would it feel like to lay that belief down?

   
   

And if you're a woman of faith, add this prayer:

"God, show me who I was before the world told me who to be."

You don't have to fix yourself; you're not broken. You just have to start digging.

Final Thoughts

If no one's told you this lately, let me be the first:

You are not the problem.

You are not too much.

You are not broken.

You are worthy. You are whole. And you are loved.

And if you're ready to stop living like you're buried, I invite you to walk with me.

At Fly Fearless, we help women and service members rewrite the stories that have kept them stuck and rise into the life they were always meant to live.

It's your time to rise.

Reach out to Fly Fearless and let's take that first step - together. Visit the website or email info@flyfearlessunlimited.com for more information. For inspiration and updates, follow us on social media, including Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.